Have you ever had a disagreement with someone? If you’re a human, I’m sure you have. Now, have you ever had a disagreement with someone and solving the issue seemed almost impossible because they didn’t have the ability to discuss it rationally? Raises hand so hard the shoulder dislocates.
I think the world can be boiled down to two types of people: People who are honest with themselves and people who are not. People who are not honest with themselves usually fall into this irrational category. These are the kind of people who will do something and completely deny it if they are called out. They will make up excuses or just flat out lie when faced with the truth. A rational person will usually agree that they did it, explain why they did it, then apologize if it’s necessary. And you know what? That’s an AMAZING quality in a person. That is how you grow; it’s how you learn; it’s how you flourish as a human being. Those that can’t admit their own mistakes or shortcomings never grow, which is why it can often feel like you’re dealing with a child.
SO, what do you do when you are confronted with one of these people? Hang tight, folks. Let Momma Caroline give you a step by step guide on how to escape a potentially infuriating, pointless argument.
- Assess the situation.
- Do you need something from this person? Did they do something to hurt your feelings? Is this discussion worth it? Is this someone you care deeply about, or is it merely an acquaintance? Are YOU perhaps in the wrong? You should analyze the situation and honestly and as unbiased as possible. This is perhaps THE most vital step, as it determines what your next course of action should be.
- Make your move.
- Let’s say this is someone you MUST interact with for one reason or another and they are in the wrong. Perhaps they promised you something and then, once brought up, completely denied it. Or perhaps they are blaming you for something unreasonable and will not take the responsibility for themselves. Whatever the reason, you feel the issue must be addressed. Before you just go off on them, think about the best way to get what you need out of the situation; even if that is just merely peace. Approach them about the issue.
- Feed the ego.
- Something I’ve noticed are that people that are unable to take responsibility for their actions are usually insecure. (That’s why they can’t be honest with themselves; it makes them feel bad.) When approaching this person with an issue, make sure you don’t come at them in a confrontational way. That will put them on the defense and you’ll get nowhere. Feed their ego; tell them that their feelings are important to you and do not call them out specifically on their lie. That makes them malfunction. Phrase what you’re saying in a way that may even somewhat go along with their lie, but make sure you stick to the point you’re trying to make.
- Reassure them.
- Once you guys have reached some sort of agreement, make sure to again remind them that you aren’t upset or offended. These people usually care a lot about what people think about them and want to feel validated and wanted. Make sure they feel that way once the issue is wrapped up.
- Be the bigger person.
- Remember; swallowing your pride is one of the most courageous things you can do. Even though it’s frustrating to feel like you haven’t received justice, know that handling it in a calm manner is always the best route when possible, especially if it’s a person that is a large part of your life, so you can avoid unnecessary drama.
The Spoiled Millennial